Talking to the Doc After a Terminal Diagnosis

Preparing for the Conversation:

Acknowledge Your Concerns – It’s okay to say, “I need to talk about what’s ahead for me.”

Bring a Trusted Person – A family member, friend, or advocate can help support you and take notes.•

Write Down Questions – It’s easy to forget things in the moment, so prepare a list of what you want to ask.•

Set the Tone – Let your doctor know if you want honesty, reassurance, or a gentle approach.•

Key Topics to Discuss:

What to Expect – Ask, “What are the likely changes in my body and symptoms as my illness progresses?”

Pain and Comfort Management – “How will you help manage my pain and keep me comfortable?”

Treatment vs. Quality of Life – “Are there treatments that might prolong my life but worsen my quality of life?”

Hospice and Palliative Care – “At what point should we consider hospice? What are my options for end-of-life care?”

Advance Directives and DNR Orders – “I want to make sure my wishes are clear. Can you help me with advance care planning?”

Emotional and Spiritual Support – “What resources are available to help me and my loved ones emotionally?”

Timeframe and Prognosis – If you want to know, you can ask, “What is my estimated time left?” But if you don’t want to know, express that too.

How to Advocate for Yourself:

Be Clear About Your Priorities – “I value quality of life over aggressive treatment” or “I want to fight as long as possible.”

Ask for Simple Explanations – Medical jargon can be confusing. Ask, “Can you explain that in a way I can understand?”

Express Your Fears and Hopes – It’s okay to say, “I’m afraid of suffering” or “I want to be at peace in my final days.”

Discuss Where You Want to Be – “I’d like to be at home when I die. How can we make that happen?”

Follow Up as Needed – If new symptoms arise or you change your mind about something, let your doctor know.