Why would someone need an End-of-Life Doula?
Unfortunately, with terminal illness comes a lot of sadness and uncertainty. Many tolls are taken when helping a loved one as they are dying: financial, emotional, and physical. It is a constant in the life of the patient as well as the caregiver and loved ones.
Just like a birth doula assists in comfort during the birth of a baby, an End-of-Life Doula, or “death doula” assists in providing comfort during the death of a person. They are a non-medical, holistic support system. We focus on guiding our clients to having a good death. We create a peaceful loving atmosphere in which to die. We improve the experience of dying.
We are here to ease burdens, hold space, listen (really listen), guide, assist, provide short term respite care if needed, sit with the dying (no one should ever die alone,) create legacy projects, hold vigils, and do what we can to make it a little less stressful for the patient and family.
A doula helps the dying person and their family understand what is happening to them and what it means.
Do I have to go somewhere to see the doula?
No. The doula comes to wherever the patient is whether they are at home, a facility, or the hospital.
When is the best time to contact a doula?
That’s tricky. Think about the services that doulas offer and what services you and your family would be interested in. Reach out to a doula at any time during your end-of-life journey. As soon as you can, that would be my best answer.
Don’t be afraid to contact a couple of doulas to get a feel for personalities. It’s important that the chemistry be a good fit. You should feel at ease with the doula you select.
Are doulas medically trained?
Generally, no. Some have medical backgrounds including nursing, but while in the doula role, they WILL NOT be providing healthcare services. Rather, they are there for planning, comfort, to explain what is happening, to listen, advocate, and for various types of support including emotional. Medical professionals (for instance, hospice) that are already in place will always be the primary.
A doula has the extra time to spend and fill in some gaps. We will sit with the dying, complete legacy projects, hold rituals, life reviews, and support end-of-life planning such as obituary writing, memorials, etc.
Are your services covered by insurance?
End-of-Life Doulas in the U.S. are considered Independent Contractors and are not currently covered by Medicare. Doula services are paid services provided outside of the scope of insurance plans.
What if I really want this service but I can’t afford it?
We are very passionate about our belief that every person deserves the best death possible. Reach out to us if paying for services in full or in part is a major hardship. We can provide a sliding scale to a number of our clients if need be.
What types of payments are accepted?
We accept checks, cash, Venmo, Zelle, Paypal, and Cash App,
What happens if my loved one has a medical crisis?
The End-of-Life Doula is always called AFTER the person or team providing your loved ones medical care (such as a hospice, a caseworker, a nurse, etc.) ALWAYS call your MEDICAL TEAM FIRST.
What is the difference between hospice and an end-of-life doula?
A doula works alongside hospice, filling in the gaps left by medical professionals. We strongly recommend the patient is under hospice care and receiving the medical care they need to make them comfortable. Hospice is a beautiful thing, but they cannot spend the amount of time with people that they need for things that really are not medically necessary. A doula can come in and fill those gaps. Vigil planning, Legacy projects, life review, ceremonies, guided meditation, end-of-life planning, are a few services a doula may offer.
What kind of services do doulas NOT provide?
Doulas are not social workers or counselors, medical providers, physical caregivers, legal or financial advisors.
We can, however, help to identify resources for professionals in these specific areas.
Doulas can NOT help a patient take medication.
Have you received special training?
Yes, through the International End of Life Doula Association. INELDA is located in New Jersey and trains End-of-Life Doulas worldwide. Learn more about INELDA at: inelda.org
“I’m afraid,” said Rabbit.
“What are you afraid of?” asked Bear.
“I don’t know,” replied Rabbit, “I just am.”
“Then, I will sit with you until you’re not afraid anymore,” said Bear.
“We will face it together.”
TARA SHANNON